Oh, Damn.
Phoebe "You Got a Bird On Your Head" Price
Um. Yeah. This look is a catastrophic fail.
Eva "Ice Capades" LaRue
Eva is desperate to be on the next Skating with the Stars, obvy.
Little did you know, she's actually wearing ice skates instead of heels to prove her dedication.
Jayma "School Marm" Mays
The Ghost of 1962 has come to haunt the Emmys! This is why everyone wore red...little known fact that red thwarts off haunted television spirits. And now you know. And knowing is half the battle.
Juice Poll: Who's Got the Best Orange Glow?
Nancy O'Dell vs. Giuliana Rancic
Discuss amongst yourselves.
*Personally, I got Nancy by a level. Note the chest vs. face color difference. Always a tell-tale sign.
Juiciest Color of the Night: RED Notttt
Shiny red satin gowns make my skin crawl. Every wrinkle, crease, visible underwear line, bad Prom memory, Carrie spilt in blood thought, and the feeling of getting stabbed in the chest with a boutonniere is running through my brain right now. Please, please make it stop.
Lara "Yikes" Spencer
Anyone else feel like this dress is watching us right now?
Cory "Squeeze It In" Monteith
"Just keep sucking it in, Cory. Breathe. You can do this. Just a few more pictures and then you can unbutton."
Don't Hate Me Because I Hate It: Clare Danes
Yeah, sorry. Totally not feeling this dress. I know what you're thinking...."but it's blue, Juice. you love you some blue." I know. But I just can't here. It's so....tight. And...geometric. And....messy. It's like a bad 80s abstract painting that could possibly have a dead hooker and cocaine on it later tonight.
Un-Juiciest Couples of the Night:
Michael Pitt and Elvira...I mean, his "date"
Amy Poehler and Will Arnett
I would be legitimately nervous if I ran into Michael Pitt and this chick on the red carpet. I mean...they just look like they've cast spells on people before. Spells that make your hair fall out when you hit the swimming pool after school.
And I apologize to Will here, because he looks fine. But I just can't stop staring at Amy's latex condom dress. I want to be there for when she pulls that thing off. Big time.
Un-Juiciest Trend of the Night: Bad Hair
Like, really bad hair.
Charlie's "Angels?"
I give this show four episodes. These bitches already look like they hate each other.
Julianna Marguiles
You know, if there wasn't a bad disco ball \ chandelier thing going on with the bodice here, I'd definitely be ok with this. But alas, someone "shooozghed" when they shouldn't have.
Thanks for Trying: Gwyneth Paltrow
I am super into different and edgy. But I'm really struggling with seeing the most awkward part of someone's middle section. I also keep thinking this is that Michaele Salahi chick. You know, that Desperate Housewives of DC gal who party bombed Obama's dinner in an Indian sari and then went missing but was really just running off to bang the guitarist of Journey? Yeah. That chick.
Brooke Anderson. I Haven't a Clue What She's In Either.
But luckily there were some picked-over leftovers from Prom still available at Jessica McClintock.
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