RANT-tastic

Let's talk LEGGINGS, shall we?

I'm a big fan. BIG fan of leggings.
Leggings can turn certain dresses into year-round dresses. Leggings are awesome when you bought a dress at Forever 21 and didn't try it on and you then realize it was made for someone 5 feet tall and you don't feel like flashing your ass to the world. Leggings are great for when you're traveling at 6am and you just want to wear that sack dress that makes you feel like you're still wearing pajamas, but you don't want your legs to freeze. Leggings are particularly great when you're feeling a little chubs and you pull those puppies up as high as they go control-top style...

THAT BEING SAID, a piece of me dies every time I see leggings with a shirt or dress that does not cover ass and crotch.

I do NOT want to see your cameltoe nor your cheeks exposed to the world. No one does! That's gross. And awkward. And it looks extremely uncomfortable. I'M uncomfortable looking at you.

The only time this is semi-acceptable is when you're working out and you're wearing "work out gear leggings" and your t-shirt shows a little booty and a little crotch. But those leggings are MADE for that...they're thick! And let's be honest, no one is looking at your sweaty outfit anyway when you're working out.

So ladies, next time you pull on your leggings, please make sure to pair with a shirt\dress long enough to cover your bits and pieces.


i feel better now, thanks.

Um....

Drew "Re-livin' the Good Times" Barrymore

Urban Outfitters was out late partying last night, ran into Drew on the streets and couldn't hold it in. Barfed ALL over her. Head to toe.

Fugness of the Week

Brenda "Cameltoe" Song

Is your crotch hungry, girl? Cuz it's eating your pants.

RANT-tastic

I don't know if this is a New England thing, but I've been noticing a ridiculous trend amongst twentysomething gals at work lately.

The choice of dress starts out ok, albeit boring: black trouser pants, slingback heel, appropriate work-attire blouse or shirt.
HOWEVER, "said shirt" becomes literally non-existent once these women enter their chilly office building, cooled to a low temperature of 58 degrees because, of course, studies show that people work smarter and faster when they're freezing their asses off...

Enter the Fleece Jacket.

It's a fashion killer. Picture the standard pale blue North Face fleece with 8,000 pockets and maybe even an old ski lift ticket hanging from the zipper...

I swear to God if I see another young decent-looking chick walking the halls in black pants, heels and a baby blue fleece I'm going to scream. These chicks could be completely fashion forward - they could be wearing a Gucci button-down with a big blingin' necklace and a scarf or vest or anything trendy for God's sake but yet they so easily sacrifice the "look" for "warmth and comfort" with a big, heinous, bulky, unmatching, plain jane FLEECE.
Bring a cute spring coat to work with you! Layer! Even a sweater that goes with the outfit is ok to throw on! Just PLEASE NOT THE FLEECE. Fleece's are ok when it's the middle of winter and there's snow on the ground. Not in May...even if said fleece is baby blue.
It's UGLY.



i feel better now, thanks.

Fugness of the Week

Erin Featherston

Sweet Jesus! Is Disco back? 

Ladies and gentlemen, this woman is a MODEL. And not just a model-model, a RUNWAY MODEL. It's pretty hard to make a 5'10", 125 lb. stick look "big"...so big props to these disco ball pants, because I can't stop staring at that large mid-section of shiny fabric. 

p.s. I bet my Mom rocked something like this back in the day. If you don't know, now you know: she was a disco diva.

Fugness of the Week

Heidi Montag

So apparently Heidi wants to pose for Playboy. Doesn't this seem like the perfect outfit to sport out and about while promoting this sort of thing? I mean, she looks like a 45 year old housemarm* on her way to Church. Well, outside of the black bra...maybe that's the "sexy tease" for Hef...hmmmmm

*is housemarm really a word? is it really such a thing? I'm not sure. Let's just go with it.

THE JUICE...according to Jackie - Academy of Country Music Awards 2009 Edition

Oh, Damn!

Carrot Top and whoa, whoa, whoa, A DATE!!??

First of all, why in God's name was Carrot Top at the Country Music Awards? The ONLY excuse I can think of is that he's performing his shitty gig in Vegas right now...and persuaded execs for tickets so long as he brought some decent arm candy (even if he paid for it)...and promised not to roid rage out on the red carpet.

Kellie Pickler

Who dressed you girl, Beyonce???

I am SO over the mermaid-train, serpent-scale, sasha-fierce gown. I'm beginning to truly despise any dress that elicits this response from me: "how in the hell does she walk\sit\breathe\sashay in that thing?" 

And I can't stop looking at the four boobs it's giving lil' Pickler....I mean, we've all heard the rumor that girlfriend went and bought herself some ta-ta's with that American Idol money...but dayum!

John Rich of Big and Rich

I don't know, guys...this is just a "scrolldown disaster" for me. See, we start off great with the vest, jacket and no tie - loving it. But as we scroll down, the faded, ripped, patched-knee, LIGHT DENIM jeans just makes me cringe. Too nice on top + too shitty on bottom = fashion disaster.

LeAnn Rimes

Big fan of the LBD. Not a big fan of anyone who actually wants to make their hips and ass look 5 sizes bigger...REALLY?

Emily West

Taking the Country Music Awards too literally : wearing ropes and\or snakes on your gown. Hoping to snag a cowboy, sweetie?

The Couple That Brought The Desperate: Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy

JLH: "Keep holding me tight Jamie. That's right, look me in the eyes and make me smile. I think they're buying it..."

Jamie: "Isn't it great that I wore white to match? We TOTALLY look like a couple now!"

JLH: "I know. It's so great. Although your white gym shoes? Um, not so great."

Jamie: "Don't forget to mention Ghost Whisperer at least 5 times tonight. It's in the contract."

JLH: "God, I'm sooooo in love."

Miranda Lambert

This does absolutely nothing for me. NOTHING. Miranda is this little hottie dating an even bigger hottie (whooo Blake Shelton!) and she wears this?! A knee-length bubble hem dress??? I mean, 16 year old high school chicks are wearing better dresses than this to Homecoming nowadays. F for effort.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban
I had to post this picture. It's brilliant in that, upon first glance, I totally thought Keith was cupping an alien's breast.

HOT Damn! 

Taylor Swift

Hellooooo RED! Little Miss Swift is stunning in a one-shoulder gown. Very adult, yet in a classy way. Not a Miley Cyrus way. She looks FEROSH.

Carrie Underwood

Rocking THE trend of the night (one shoulder) and absolutely killing it! Carrie looks like a goddess in this ethereal gown and her waist couldn't be tinier cinched with a perfectly matched belt.

Marissa Miller

I guess when you're a Victoria's Secret model it's appropriate to wear a gown that looks like lingerie...I mean, somebody literally just added a train. But she's pulling it off because, again, she's a freaking Victoria's Secret model.

Lady Antebellum

 Holy metrosexualness Batman! So, of course, I'm absolutely dying and loving every second. White skinnies, YES! LOVING. And the "Lady" of Lady Antebellum's dress color is fantastic.

Rascal Flatts

I'm totally having a Jonas Brothers moment...thank you Rascal Flatts for bringing the homo in the best way possible. Heart.