HOT DAMN!
¡Viva Sofia Vergara!
I think we can all agree that Darryl Hannah was the hottest mermaid in the 80s, but Sofia has claimed the title for 2012. This underwater fantasy of a dress is absolute perfection on her. God smiled upon us when he created this woman. Although, if I were God (and don't we all want to be or think we are, sometimes?) I'd take a shot of Jamo and yell "I AM AWESOME!" for creating her.
Allison GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS Williams
Sneak attack! We didn't see much of Allison on the E! Red Carpet, but don't worry, The Juice noticed. Hands down, this is my favorite look of the night. The structure throughout the bodice, the emerald green against her gorgeous pale skin, I love I love I love. I would do dangerous things to own this dress...
Battle of the Boobs:
Christina Hendricks vs. Kat Dennings
I never thought anyone could rival my beloved Christina's beyond beautiful and bountiful buxom...until my jaw dropped over Kat Dennings. And by jaw drop, I mean drool and stare obsessively. Let's be serious, if you've ever caught a second of "Two Broke Girls" (and you really only need a second before you want to stab your eyes out and change the channel), you'd notice those bad boys brutally tucked into a horrific mustard yellow waitress get-up. So let this be a lesson learned...let them free Kat. Let those boobs say hello to the world.
Best Use of Divorce: Amy Poehler
I've said it before, I'll say it again: nothing does a body better than a Hollywood break-up or divorce.
(See Reese Witherspoon, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston...)
Those women all KILLED the red carpet post-big break-ups...and now Amy Poehler joins that sexy-ass crew. Work it, girl.
Bryan Cranston Breaking Hearts
Possibly in homage to his fellow nominated show, Bryan Cranston channeled his inner Don Draper and looked beyond classic and sexy in his (color of the night) navy suit with black piping. What I really want to know is whether he's wearing those infamous Hanes tightie whiteys, though...am I right??
Juiciest Theme of the Night: CITRUS DELICIOUSNESS
Kat Deeley
Claire Danes
Julie Bowen
Kaley Cuoco
Padma Lakshmi
I want to drink up the delicious sunshine in all of these beauties. Since it's already fall in Chicago, I felt like this was an awesome last cry for a summer extension...but it was 90 fricken degrees in LA, so the color pallette was perfect for the occasion. Everyone knows how much I love a pop of color (especially yellow) so you know that each one of these dresses made me very happy on the inside. Also, I really want a Mojito in one hand and a Miami Vice in the other right now. Don't judge.
Don't Hate Me Because I LOVE It: Elisabeth Moss
I'm 100% obsessed with this look. Maybe it's because her body is absolutely bangin' and the fit and cut of this dress is magic for her curves. Or maybe it's because so many people struggle with the high slit \ exposed shoes and wear the completely wrong style...and hers are perfection. Or maybe it's because I'm super obsessed with short, bleach blonde hair right now. Whatever it is...I'm swooning.
#HEIDI'SLEG
Listen, Angie knew exactly what she was doing...
So let's get it trending, shall we?
Juiciest Couples of the Night:
Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Thomas
I adore the purple coordination. And Alec just looks sooooo happy.
I mean, wouldn't you if your new bride was 24 and a yoga instructor??
Ellen and Portia de Rossi
Ellen rocked the navy suit better than any dude on the red carpet last night. And Portia de Rossi is just.so.hot. In the past, I've slayed women for rocking a pantsuit \ jumpsuit to awards shows, but this totally works for me. The nude, Chanel-like texture is simple and sexy.
Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow
Looooooooved this dress on Leslie. Although I did tweet that the pearl beading on the bodice made my nipples hurt for her. What if a snag occurred? In fairness, I'm sure there's a nude lining under there, but let's still go with the imagery of a nipple snag on pearls. Sounds like a good porn concept, no?
Oh, and Judd cleans up nicely.
Loyalty: I Heart January Jones
I'm loyal to those I love. And as much as I despised January's strawberry blonde slicked hair and sloppy hooker makeup, her dress is fucking fabulous people. I mean. FAB.U.LOUS. It's exactly the couture crazy I expect her to bring every awards season. Let's just fire that hair and makeup person, though, shall we?
Zooey Cinderelli Cinderelli
But I wanna Emmy NOW!!
Isn't there something about a Cinderella ball gown that takes us back to 8 years old again...playing dress-up, having a tea party, pouting over that third cookie you really wanted and mom wouldn't let you have...?
If you don't know what I mean, just turn on TLC or Oxygen during the day and check out a wedding episode.
No comments:
Post a Comment