Oh, Damn.
Un-Juiciest Couple of the Night: Jenna and Tito
Well, Jenna looks ok. I guess when you're a superstar porn star, any time you're out and wearing clothes it's a win on technicalities. But, Tito. OH, Tito. Honey, when your dome is that large, you should NEVER wear a skinny tie to accentuate the largeness that is your melon, and neck for that matter. And when you're a celebrity, I don't ever want to catch button-fly jeans on you. You have enough money to custom fit your (insert designer jean name here).
Snooki! Orange You Glad I'm Juicing Her?
I could talk for days about how Snooks needs to lay off the bronzer and self-tanner. Instead, let's talk the dress. Back in the day, we had this hilarious store at the mall called "Rave." And it's everything you're imagining. Snooki is modeling a 1992 vintage Rave dress here. OMG, the cut-outs on the arms? Seriously. She might as well throw some snaps at the end of that dress and make it a "dress and\or bodysuit."
We Have a Situation Here
These two just look like cartoon characters. Cartoon characters with a lot of STDs.
Speaking of STDs.....Ron Artest and his "date"
Is it wrong of me to ask why Ron Artest is even at the MTV Video Music Awards? Someone should have told him that when that rare invite happens, you shouldn't show up with a chick in full bodysuit velvet. Which reminds me of one of the greatest quotes in television:
"Honey, I love you. I think you're a terrific girl. But you have clothes like a fucking dickhead."
Holy Hell Robyn.
Could this possibly be inspired by the upcoming TRON? If so, not quite sure where the hippie bomber jacket came into play...maybe she was feeling a little body conscious in her LATEX BODYSUIT.
And those wedges are just asking for a sprained ankle, people. A lot of cork died for those bad boys.
Caption Me?
Just looking at this picture makes me laugh out loud. I think nothing more can be said.
PARAMustache
Paramore is, like, the cutest band, for real (said in teenaged Juice voice, before she hit puberty). I think Hayley can dye her hair whatever color she feels like, just because she can sing with the best of them. My gaze though...my gaze keeps settling on that delicious molestache on the left...can't, look, away....
Wow.
*jaw drops to floor*
*picks jaw up*
HOLY SHIT.
In situations like this, where I am literally at a loss for words to completely articulate my feelings on how utterly ridiculous, atrocious, and hysterical an outfit is, there is only one phrase that comes to mind:
"Cocaine's a hell of a drug."
Where's Jesus on Your Necklusssss Ke$ha?!
Xena Warrior Princess on a lot of drugs.
Is that a garbage bag turned into a dress? Sounds like a pretty bitchin' Project Runway quickfire, right? I think we're about 2 steps away from seeing full blown vag, too. So...this is a win for Ke$ha, all things considered.
GAGAlicious
That is one hell of a feather mohawk. I didn't think there could be a cooler one since I saw Rufio's in Hook.
And then she rocked THIS one. If I were Cory Monteith, I wouldn't be laughing. I would be slowly moving backward...you know, just in case she made any sudden head movements and spikes went flying.
Is anyone else hungry?
America's Next Top Model?
Eva Pigford is stunning. But has anyone who's won Tyra's money-maker ANTM ever become a "top model?" Anywho...Eva loses the "Ice Princess-tastic" theme of the night in a skater dress gone bad. This is so bad it would be a win for the Skating with the Stars cast. *Ba-dum-ching!*
DeadMau5
We'd have posture like that if we wore a 10 lb. costume head at all times. Seriously, does anyone have a picture of what this guy looks like? It has to be some Phantom of the Opera shit, right? He woos young ladies with his sick beats, yet his face is so disturbingly disfigured he finds that covering it with a dead mouse is even better than what's underneath...
Oh, Cher.
She wishes she could turrnnn backkk timmmeeee.....then she would finnddd aaa wayyyy.....
This get-up wasn't cool in the 90s and it certainly isn't cool in 2010. There's throwbacks and vintage and then there's this. And I swear to God, if her ass cheeks are hanging out, my head might explode.
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