January "I'm Blue Ba Da Dee Ba Da Da Daaa" Jones
I am 1,000% INSANE over this dress. OB-SESSED. Clearly I stand alone in this love, since it seems NBC's Billy Bush and Laura Whatshername called it a "miss"...whatever...the fact that those two are even allowed to critique is in and of itself ludicrous...but I'm standing proud dammit. This dress is sheer genius. In a snoozetastic red carpet filled with black and navy, this blue literally knocked my socks off and I praised the fashion Gods. Thank you, January, for taking a risk. 
Claire "I Obviously Need to Watch Temple Grandin" Danes
Ah, far from the days of Angela Chase on "My So Called Life," aren't we? Claire Danes is an absolute smokeshow. This was my second fave look\dress of the night. I don't know many bodies that would fit into this Armani Prive creation; and this bad-boy fit exquisitely. Thus, Claire gets my "please eat a cheeseburger" plea, but I'll give her a pass this time.
p.s. Jewel, take note, this color is heavenly on you blondes...less frill, more sex. Thank you.
Jennifer's Body
STUNNING. "Please eat a cheeseburger." But STUNNING. Sleek, sophisticated, smashing, um, I've run out of "S's"...Ryan "FangBanger" Kwanten
Heidi "50-50" Klum
Here we have a case of "Juice took a closer look and, upon further inspection, really digs this." I still don't love the necklace - I think it makes the whole look a little too busy - but Heidi is just exuding sexy fun. I can see Cameron Diaz in a very similar get-up.
Heather "She's in Glee" Morris
Yes, even I have to imdb.com sometimes. I mean, shit, I even watch Glee and did not recognize her as Brittany the cheerleader. This is old Hollywood glamour at its best. Blonde finger waves, red lip, shining gold. Excellent touch with a skinny black cinch of the waist.
Who here would kill for Kyra's beauty secret to looking hotter as she gets older? Phenomenal. Maybe Kevin Bacon is really great in the sack and they have a wonderful sex life that keeps them both feeling 20 again. God bless you Viagra.
Juiciest Same Sex Couple of the Night: Neil Patrick Harris and David Burka
I'm convinced most of Hollywood is unaware of the phrase "outkicked my coverage with my girlfriend\boyfriend"...they don't need to. They're beautiful. And this couple above proves it. NPH in the grey tux and black lapel did it just right for me.
Sporting an Oscar de la Renta creation, Lea looked much better than, but very similar to, her 2010 Golden Globes catastrophe. Apparently she digs black. And goth. But here's where she edited perfectly: her hair is soft...not severe. And her mermaid silhouette is far less massive than the web seen below. Kudos for learning from your mistakes, sweetheart. xoxo
circa 2010 Golden Globes
I sweat this. Big time. Heart the abstract. In a world where black and white has been done time and time again, I think this is creative. And, most importantly, I would rock the shit out of this.
*Editor's note: I would, however, change the shoes.
Christina "Flotation Devices" Hendricks
I know I always mention Christina's luscious melons but....how can you NOT? My God, look at those things. They're beautiful. And you know who isn't beautiful? Her goofy boyfriend, Geoffrey Arend, better known as the guy in Super Troopers who, while licking the inside of a police car, said "the snozzberries taste like snozzberries"...but guess what? This guy is well aware of the "outkicked my coverage" phrase. I mean, he knew that Christina was wearing Zac Posen, without a hitch. That, my friends, is true love.
Sookie
and Stephen Moyer, TIE for Juiciest Straight Couple of the Night
Call me nuts but I died over Anna's Alexander McQueen gown. It's like a nod to the fierce gladiator. Not fierce like battle fierce - I mean, like, fashionista, homolicious fierce. I love it. And I will defend it to the death.
And what more is there to say about the chemistry between these two? Swooooon.
Not even worth imdb-ing...no clue who this kid is, but damn his parents didn't fart around with the Emmys. Kudos.
Amber "Goddess" Riley
Amber did this Grecian frock just right and, might I add, was one of the few people I saw sporting white...and I looove a good white-hot gown on the red carpet. Oh, and thank you for not going over-board with the whole "flowing train" thing... *ahem, Kim Kardashian, ahem*
I would totally key this dude's car if he broke up with me, too. Look at him. The guy looks good ladies and gents.
She just had a baby 3 WEEKS AGO people!!! Talk about hustling back into the gym. She looks positively breathtaking in baby blue.
Juiciest Couple of the Night: Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe
Just look. And don't forget to wipe the drool from your face.
Can you believe these two have a child together? It's like God got bored and decided He'd create the ultimate beautiful super human.
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