No, seriously: how do you sit in that thing? I'm cringing at the thought of it! This is taking "edgy" to all extremes of the word and style, don't you think?In all honesty, though, I kind of dig the sharp-edged skirt...it's really the top, shoes, and hair that I'm having a hard time swallowing. So it's the Teen Choice Awards and you gotta tone down a skirt with a white wife-beater tank you bought at Walmart in a pack of 3? Really? And the shoes do NOTHING for legs. NOTHING. Who really goes for the "cankle" look? So unflattering.
And I'm fairly certain that her hair was cut by Edward Scissorhands.
Shawn "Are Those Veins or Trees?" Johnson
Alright, I know she's as cute as a baby bunny in a field of daisies, but if Shawn's 15 minutes of fame extend to 30, girlfriend needs to hire a stylist ASAP. That dress is an epic fail. The one-sleeve is tragic, not to mention it BELLS out a'la 1992. And I haven't quite figured out the pattern yet...is she channeling her inner nervous system? It's summer! Those trees should have some flowers on it, dammit!
Robert "I'm Soooo Brooding" Pattinson
Hottest question of the night: Did he or didn't he wash his hair for this event? I'm going to go with the latter - that hair is coiffed too perfectly to have been freshly washed. You need that sixth day of grease to really get the right movement...
Kristen "Genie in a Bottle" Bell
Um....what?
Let me start by saying that JUMPERS ARE NOT SEXY. You can show me as much cleav\chest as you'd like, a one-piece jumpsuit is never going to turn a dude on. Top that off with a cropped, baggy leg and you're really never going to get laid in that. And don't give me the whole "it's comfortable" thing...because you can pull a dress on in one swoop just like you can pull a jumpsuit on...only a dress doesn't offer the opportunity for cameltoe.
Chace "Something's Off..." Crawford
I typically enjoy vests on guys - it's hot and casual. But is it just me or is there something a little off with this particular vest look? I can't decide if it's the double-collar action that's going on: collared shirt with collared vest...or if the collar on the vest is just tiny-looking??? I'm perplexed...
Britney "At Least She Looks Sane..." Spears
I know, I know. I'm supposed to say, "doesn't she look healthy and happy?" But I think she's been healthy and happy for long enough for me to fug her up on this one. The hair. Oh, the hair. Girl, your weave looks sooooo bad. Could she at least put a curling iron or flat iron or something to her hair so that it doesn't look like fried horse hair?
I'm waiting for the paparazzi to debut their "Britney crotch shots" getting in and out of a car at this red carpet...because there's no way she didn't flash vag in that short little number. So what'll it be? Do we think undies or no-undies???
Yes, you've read this right my loyal Juice fans...I am putting my beloved Jonas Brothers on the "Oh, Damn" list. The khaki blazer on Nick is hideous and Joe must really be reeling from that break-up because the neon green\black blazer\necklace thing he's got going on is soooo New Jersey. "The Other Jonas" looks alright...for all (non-matching) blacks. Is this a sign of the times? Am I finally over the Jonai? Dun, dun, dun....stay tuned....for the next Juice....
"HOT Damn!"
Leighton "The Pin-Up" Meester
Ms. Meester looks soooo retro pin-up girl chic in her black, white and red ensemble. The cut and shape of her dress are fantastic on her body and the poppin' red heels are just the icing on the cake for me. Hotness. I want to take pictures of her. I want to draw her.
Emma "Goth-tastic" Roberts
I am COMPLETELY digging this goth-look from Emma. I'm so glad she pulled her hair back to show off that gorgeous neckline on her mini!!! Everything about this is edgy and sexy. (Kristen Stewart - take note here)...and strays from Emma's typical "squeaky-clean" Disney image.
Who's That Girl? Kim Kardashian!
Kim Kardashian debuted some new blonde locks at the Teen Choice Awards - and she looked SMOKIN' hot!!! With that golden tan and white dress, she could double for Malibu Barbie. Or one of Hef's new girlfriends.
Megan "Boneriffic" Fox
What's the Juice according to Jackie without Megan Fox?!? I 100% worship this chick. The Fox looks absolutely flawless in her form-flattering cocktail dress, complete with tasteful cleave and beach-sexy hair. But did I mention I'd kill for those shoes? Because I would.
Taylor "Yumlicious" Lautner
ATTENTION Chace Crawford,
THIS is how a vest should look.
xoxo,
Juice
Hottest Couple of the Night: Ashley Tisdale and some dude
Awww!!! Could these two look more smitten?!? <3>Ashley looks hot and whatshisname makes for a nice accessory, as well. Let's just hope this is real love...not that "I really dig you right now, so I'm going to send you some nudie pics of me so that when we break up in two months you can post them on Twitter for everyone to see" love...
Miley "Dear God, I Hope There's Not a Front Angle to this Photo" Cyrus
Because someone may have gotten an eyeful of crotch....
You gotta love a 17 year old that really knows how to work a pole.
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